My semianual update

So it seems that I only have time to do semi-annual updates on this thing. I'm sure that nobody is really sad about this since I'm sure only 4 people read this blog. Much has happened since my last post so I'll try to do a quick update.

My first semester is done and I managed to finish with decent grades. Two A's and a B, not the best, but it's acceptable. I hope I can do better this semester. I'm not mad at my Director anymore for the public embarrassment. It turns out that his mother was basically on her death bed so his demeanor was a representation of my test. I also was able to explain my situation, to which he was more than understanding. My grade was not as perilous as it seemed and I managed to KICK BUTT on the rest of my tests. I ended the class with a 90% but unfortunately that equaled a B.

I'm now in my second semester and it's going to be CRAZY. I really like my lab classes. It's funny because they were the classes that I dreaded the most. They are 5 hours long... I know, right? BUT... we wear our scrubs, operating gown, gloves, masks, lead aprons (for the x-ray fluoroscopy stuff) and it's super awesome! I finally feel like I'm doing stuff in school that really matters. Wearing the equipment and learning stuff in the lab makes me feel professional and like I'm finally getting near the end of school. It's weird to think that by this time next year I will be doing my internship and out in the real world. It scares the CRAP out of me but it's extremely exciting at the same time. I really like the rest of my classes too. They are really hard and it's going to take a lot of work but I'm really interested in what I'm learning so it helps me to know that I'm truly doing something that I WANT to do, even though it's scary.

Yesterday my lab teachers and my director were telling us the worst things they ever experienced in the Cath lab. It was terrible to hear. One story involved making a mistake on a newborn baby and the baby almost died. The others involved a patient who had an arterial disease that's impossible to diagnose until it's too late. Basically the Aorta (the huge artery that pumps blood out of the heart to the rest of the body) had calcified or become really hard and rigid, and the tech injected dye so that they could see the catheter under x-ray and the Aorta shattered like glass under the extra pressure and person died within a minute. The worst part was that there was nothing they could do about it so they just had to sit and watch it all happen.

It really makes me stop and think if I can handle this position, but I can't walk away from this career just because I'm afraid. So I really have to face my fear and be strong and composed so that I can perform at my best. I don't know how I've stumbled onto this path, but I can't help but think that it was destiny. I couldn't have done this program in Utah or Oregon so I have to think that it was fate that brought me to this crap hole I call Minnesota.

Kayleigh is getting sooooo big. She started crawling and I just have a hard time keeping up with her. She also has 4 teeth coming in on the top so she has been just a ray of sunshine. (Catch my sarcasm) Just kidding, she is super cute and I'm sad that I miss daytime with her because I'm school, but I'm glad I get all afternoon/evening with her because Shaun let me quit my job which helps out TONS! I know I wasn't working a lot to begin with but it's nice to just not have to worry about it anymore. It's one less thing on my plate.

Well, that's about it so far, so here's to the New Year, and I hope that it is much less eventful than last year!

Thank Heaven for Shopping Emergencies and Nice Husbands

So I had the WORST day yesterday. I had my first midterm on Tuesday and I didn't get to see my final results until Thursday's class. Well.... I'm a mom with a baby and sometimes it's hard for me to leave the house on time. So I got to class late, but luckily they were doing pressure holds and advising day stuff so I hadn't missed anything. Unfortunately my director passed out the tests at the beginning of class so I didn't get to see my test until the end. Since I was late I was the last person to get one-on-one advising with my director. There was only about ten minutes left of class and everyone had finished doing the pressure holds and were just standing around talking until class was over. Well I went to talk to my director and he gave me my spring registration stuff and then said I could look at my test. Most people in the class had told me earlier that they did really bad on the test which made me nervous to see mine. So when I told my director that I was nervous to see it he said, "Well you should be because you didn't do very good." Just like that, and in front of the whole class! I didn't really know how to respond and I just took my test and looked at it.
Turns out I got a 73% which isn't great but it's not THAT bad. Well in my program a 73% equals a D and anything under a C (80%) isn't passing. So he felt the need to write a big fat FAILED on the top of my test, like I couldn't figure that out by myself. GRRRR! What a jerk! So then he felt the need to show me my overall grade, which was an 81%. I thought to myself, "Okay, so my grade isn't that bad, I can pull out of this with decent grades as long as I do better on the rest of the tests."
My Director, though, thought it was necessary to announce my grade in front of everyone and tell me that if I drop 2% more then I wouldn't pass the class and I wouldn't be able to continue in the program. THANKS! LIKE I DIDN'T ALREADY UNDERSTAND THIS AND I'M GLAD THAT THE REST OF THE CLASS KNOWS THIS NOW!
So yea, then... after totally being devastated and humiliated I had to sit through another class with him and take a midterm in that class. I felt so destroyed and any confidence that I had in myself had just been ripped out of me and left me feeling totally deflated.
I don't even want to see the score to that test.
What an awful day!
So I called Shaun on my way home and balled the ENTIRE time. Then, when I thought I was all better I walked into LaNeen's house to pick up Kayleigh. "How did it go?" was all she had to say to me and the waterworks started up again. Can you say embarrassing? Well, LaNeen being the smart lady that she is let me talk it out and tried to make me feel better. Then she said, "I know what you need... this is a shopping emergency. Get Kayleigh ready while I grab my coat."
We then proceeded to Albertville and looked (and purchased) some of the cutest baby clothes EVER! I felt better already.
When Shaun got home he surprised me with my favorite snacks and we all cuddled (including Kayleigh and the animals) on the couch and watched a movie. There's nothing like nice family and love to help you when you've been destroyed.
I'm still sensitive about my class and I'm dreading looking at my director in the eye again (because I'm pissed) but I have to realize that he will be my ONLY teacher for another year and a half and he decides my future. So I have to grin and bear it for the rest of the program and just try to show him that I'm not stupid and that I WILL COMPLETE HIS STUPID PROGRAM! Ha! Take That!
By the way, I saw the rest of the classes grades and they are ALL (except maybe one) in the SAME boat that I'm in. So hopefully he got his meanness out on me so that no one else will have to go through that humiliation!

Long Time....No Post

I'm finally updating my blog! So much has happened the last couple of months it's insane. We had Colin come and visit, Scott and Sam's Wedding, Kara coming to visit, and let's not forget School started. Man oh man, life gets crazy.

I started my program this fall and I won't lie, I'm a little intimidated by it. There's just so much information to know, and you have to know it because someone's life might depend on it. Holy too much responsibility! I'm sure I will be a little more comfortable over time. The Director of my program is HILARIOUS!!!! He has a MILLION degrees, most of them he got just because it opens doors for students in the program. He was in the Navy for 20+ years and was so emotionally scarred from having to dress and wear his hair how THEY wanted it. Now he has long, blonde, and increadibly CURLY hair that he pulls back into a pony tail! He also has an affinity for hawaian shirts and white pants. He's so funny. Looking at him on the street.... I probably would think that he's just a crazy Minnesotan, but he really is a genius in the cardiovascular career. He will be teaching all of my classes for the next two years so I'm sure I'll really get to know him.

I'm sad that summer is over, because this has been the BEST SUMMER EVER!!! I didn't have to work, and I got to hang out with Kayleigh every day. Plus we got to hang out with Colin for a week, and Kara for close to a week. MN isn't so bad when normal people come and hang out with us.

Kayleigh will be 4 months old on Saturday. It's crazy how time flies. She gets bigger and bigger everyday and she doesn't look like a baby anymore. she looks like a little girl. It must be the hair! She's so much fun, but is DROOLING like crazy! I always told Monica that I was going to order a kid without drool, and what do I get? The biggest drooler of them all. She must be teething.... or at least that's what 20 thousand people have told me. I think it's too early for teething, but I just don't want her to grow up, so I guess we'll see.

Uh oh... this one's a little cliché

I love staring into my beautiful baby’s eyes. I love cuddling in the morning. I love playing with her every day. I especially love it when she falls asleep on my chest or shoulder. I love her smiles and her crazy facial expressions. I love spending every day home with her. It seems that most of my life I have been striving for materialistic things. I wanted a good career so that I could buy the things that I wanted. I measured my success by others opinions of me. I didn’t realize that I really was living my life for others not for myself. I wasn’t happy with this… I needed change.
Now I live in a place that is by no means impressive. I have a beautiful house but it is by no means grand or magnificent. My job isn’t impressive. I’m 23 years old and I’m still in school. I married young at 20 and had a baby at age 23, which some would call crazy.
My life is by no means where I thought it would be, yet I couldn’t be happier. I’m working towards my career, not for money, but to make a difference. As silly as it sounds I am scared to start my program at school. Seeing the hospital beds and the instruments I’m going to have to use makes me nervous. A mistake at work will have far worse consequences than many other careers. I’m afraid for the few people who may not make it through the surgery. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens. Not every heart attack victim can be saved in the Cath Lab, but then I think about all of the people who are saved in there. Like my dad, twice… and who knows how many others. My job right now isn’t the most important one, but I enjoy it. I work for the community, and I’m involved in a lot of fun events. I get to be creative, and I know it’s only temporary. It’s stress free (most of the time) and the hours are low. I’m lucky to only have to work one day a week because it gives me more time at home where I want to be. I always thought being a stay at home mom would be boring and unfulfilling but I was extremely mistaken. There is nowhere else in the world that I would rather be than home with my Kayleigh. She brightens my day. She makes me want to live everyday to the fullest. It’s amazing how much she makes me feel loved and needed. All it takes is a look from her and my heart melts. I don’t know what I did without her. I can’t remember life without her. It’s amazing. She’s amazing.
I hate how corny this all sounds but sometimes I need to break down and admit that my family is so important to me. My life with Shaun and Kayleigh has given me more joy than I ever thought possible. I have a great house filled with great things, but the only things that really matter to me are the people inside my house. Sometimes I forget that, but I know that it’s true. If this is just the beginning then I can’t wait to experience the rest of the ride. In fact, I’m looking forward to it.

Ok Minnesota... we're going to give Summer a shot.

Shaun and I have been wanting to do some outdoor activities since the weather has warmed up. We both want to do something active and, well, we both need some sun to bronze our white bodies. This sounds like an easy task, right? In Utah we had many options, like hiking the Y or my absolute favorite, going rafting down the Provo River ( I thank Nate for introducing that to us). Well... I just happen to live in a crappy place called Becker, MN. The only river that we could take a raft on is the mighty Mississippi and that's a little too much of a raging river for a tiny two man inflatable raft. Okay, so hiking, that's an easy one right? Wrong... no mountains or even hills and forget hiking through any type of wooded area unless you want lime disease from my worst enemies in MN, TICKS (dun dun dunnnn). There goes my two favorite summertime activites. Lets see... swimming, of course! Perfect outside summertime fun...oh wait... no out door pools in MN. Hmmmm tanning outside would be relaxing.... wait, no.... way to many bugs (and I mean WAY to many). Any lake activities were out of the question because of little bugs that live in the lake that will crawl under your skin and the only thing you can do is let them stay there until they die. That sounds more like a nightmare to me, I don't know how people around here can handle it, but they do. We both were perplexed by our problem. I mean people around here LIVE outside in the summer because they have cabin fever from the long cold winters. They can handle the bugs, though, and I unfortunately have to draw the line at ticks and man eating flesh bugs.
Finally Shaun came up with a brilliant plan. BIKES!! We could buy bikes and go for rides. Lets see... outside activity, check...active, check...no bugs, check (maybe a few bugs hitting me in the face but we'll be moving fast enough to escape bites). Perfect! So off we went to buy some killer, stylin bikes. We even got a trailer for Kayleigh to ride in so she can join us. We got our bikes just in time for our trip "up north to the cabin" (Monica will get it). We are going up to Itaska State Park for fathers day and shaun's birthday. So summer... here we come (finally)

Detail on my bike

My killer bike with Kayleigh's trailer

Shaun excited on his bike (he was like a little kid it was so cute)

Shaun wanted to ride the bike with Kayleigh... I responded by giving him stink eye

I'm a sucker for my girl.

Kayleigh Emily Duke