Long Time....No Post

I'm finally updating my blog! So much has happened the last couple of months it's insane. We had Colin come and visit, Scott and Sam's Wedding, Kara coming to visit, and let's not forget School started. Man oh man, life gets crazy.

I started my program this fall and I won't lie, I'm a little intimidated by it. There's just so much information to know, and you have to know it because someone's life might depend on it. Holy too much responsibility! I'm sure I will be a little more comfortable over time. The Director of my program is HILARIOUS!!!! He has a MILLION degrees, most of them he got just because it opens doors for students in the program. He was in the Navy for 20+ years and was so emotionally scarred from having to dress and wear his hair how THEY wanted it. Now he has long, blonde, and increadibly CURLY hair that he pulls back into a pony tail! He also has an affinity for hawaian shirts and white pants. He's so funny. Looking at him on the street.... I probably would think that he's just a crazy Minnesotan, but he really is a genius in the cardiovascular career. He will be teaching all of my classes for the next two years so I'm sure I'll really get to know him.

I'm sad that summer is over, because this has been the BEST SUMMER EVER!!! I didn't have to work, and I got to hang out with Kayleigh every day. Plus we got to hang out with Colin for a week, and Kara for close to a week. MN isn't so bad when normal people come and hang out with us.

Kayleigh will be 4 months old on Saturday. It's crazy how time flies. She gets bigger and bigger everyday and she doesn't look like a baby anymore. she looks like a little girl. It must be the hair! She's so much fun, but is DROOLING like crazy! I always told Monica that I was going to order a kid without drool, and what do I get? The biggest drooler of them all. She must be teething.... or at least that's what 20 thousand people have told me. I think it's too early for teething, but I just don't want her to grow up, so I guess we'll see.

Uh oh... this one's a little cliché

I love staring into my beautiful baby’s eyes. I love cuddling in the morning. I love playing with her every day. I especially love it when she falls asleep on my chest or shoulder. I love her smiles and her crazy facial expressions. I love spending every day home with her. It seems that most of my life I have been striving for materialistic things. I wanted a good career so that I could buy the things that I wanted. I measured my success by others opinions of me. I didn’t realize that I really was living my life for others not for myself. I wasn’t happy with this… I needed change.
Now I live in a place that is by no means impressive. I have a beautiful house but it is by no means grand or magnificent. My job isn’t impressive. I’m 23 years old and I’m still in school. I married young at 20 and had a baby at age 23, which some would call crazy.
My life is by no means where I thought it would be, yet I couldn’t be happier. I’m working towards my career, not for money, but to make a difference. As silly as it sounds I am scared to start my program at school. Seeing the hospital beds and the instruments I’m going to have to use makes me nervous. A mistake at work will have far worse consequences than many other careers. I’m afraid for the few people who may not make it through the surgery. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens. Not every heart attack victim can be saved in the Cath Lab, but then I think about all of the people who are saved in there. Like my dad, twice… and who knows how many others. My job right now isn’t the most important one, but I enjoy it. I work for the community, and I’m involved in a lot of fun events. I get to be creative, and I know it’s only temporary. It’s stress free (most of the time) and the hours are low. I’m lucky to only have to work one day a week because it gives me more time at home where I want to be. I always thought being a stay at home mom would be boring and unfulfilling but I was extremely mistaken. There is nowhere else in the world that I would rather be than home with my Kayleigh. She brightens my day. She makes me want to live everyday to the fullest. It’s amazing how much she makes me feel loved and needed. All it takes is a look from her and my heart melts. I don’t know what I did without her. I can’t remember life without her. It’s amazing. She’s amazing.
I hate how corny this all sounds but sometimes I need to break down and admit that my family is so important to me. My life with Shaun and Kayleigh has given me more joy than I ever thought possible. I have a great house filled with great things, but the only things that really matter to me are the people inside my house. Sometimes I forget that, but I know that it’s true. If this is just the beginning then I can’t wait to experience the rest of the ride. In fact, I’m looking forward to it.

Ok Minnesota... we're going to give Summer a shot.

Shaun and I have been wanting to do some outdoor activities since the weather has warmed up. We both want to do something active and, well, we both need some sun to bronze our white bodies. This sounds like an easy task, right? In Utah we had many options, like hiking the Y or my absolute favorite, going rafting down the Provo River ( I thank Nate for introducing that to us). Well... I just happen to live in a crappy place called Becker, MN. The only river that we could take a raft on is the mighty Mississippi and that's a little too much of a raging river for a tiny two man inflatable raft. Okay, so hiking, that's an easy one right? Wrong... no mountains or even hills and forget hiking through any type of wooded area unless you want lime disease from my worst enemies in MN, TICKS (dun dun dunnnn). There goes my two favorite summertime activites. Lets see... swimming, of course! Perfect outside summertime fun...oh wait... no out door pools in MN. Hmmmm tanning outside would be relaxing.... wait, no.... way to many bugs (and I mean WAY to many). Any lake activities were out of the question because of little bugs that live in the lake that will crawl under your skin and the only thing you can do is let them stay there until they die. That sounds more like a nightmare to me, I don't know how people around here can handle it, but they do. We both were perplexed by our problem. I mean people around here LIVE outside in the summer because they have cabin fever from the long cold winters. They can handle the bugs, though, and I unfortunately have to draw the line at ticks and man eating flesh bugs.
Finally Shaun came up with a brilliant plan. BIKES!! We could buy bikes and go for rides. Lets see... outside activity, check...active, check...no bugs, check (maybe a few bugs hitting me in the face but we'll be moving fast enough to escape bites). Perfect! So off we went to buy some killer, stylin bikes. We even got a trailer for Kayleigh to ride in so she can join us. We got our bikes just in time for our trip "up north to the cabin" (Monica will get it). We are going up to Itaska State Park for fathers day and shaun's birthday. So summer... here we come (finally)

Detail on my bike

My killer bike with Kayleigh's trailer

Shaun excited on his bike (he was like a little kid it was so cute)

Shaun wanted to ride the bike with Kayleigh... I responded by giving him stink eye

I'm a sucker for my girl.

Kayleigh Emily Duke

May 5th, 2009

On Cinco De Mayo I had the pleasure of meeting my baby girl. This last week has been one of the craziest but most amazing weeks of my life. So, to explain my crazy week I guess I'll start at the beginning. I want to write about EVERYTHING so this is going to be a long one...

I went to the hospital around midnight because I was having strong contractions that were about 3-5 minutes apart. I had been having contractions that close together for about a week, but they weren't strong enough to changing my cervix. I quickly learned from the hospital that labor is technically cervical change, not the whole huffing and puffing through contractions. I was sure, though, that these contractions were different because they were a lot stronger. Shaun, the nice guy that he is, helped me pack up and drove me to the hospital in the middle of the night. They hooked me up to the machines and tracked my contractions. Sure enough they came every three minutes like clockwork, but when they checked me I was only dilated to a 2. AHHHHHHH!!! I had been stuck at a two for almost a week. The nurse told me that she thought I was really in labor, just the early stages of it. She told me to go home and take an ambien (sleeping pill I was prescribed by my doctor) and if I couldn't sleep through the contractions then I would know I was in labor. Well, I sleep that night but only two or three minutes at a time. Every time I had a contraction I would wake up. In the morning my contractions got even stronger, but I was so frustrated from being sent home that I DID NOT want to go back to that place unless I had to. I waited until about 9am and was in so much pain I was in tears. I called Shaun at work and he got a little worried about me being home alone and called my doctor to see if we should go back to the hospital. My doctor called me right away and I told them about the contractions and that I felt a lot of pressure "down there". She told me to go the hospital immediately and not to worry if they send me home again.

I finally caved in and had Shaun leave work to take me to the hospital... again. So it was my second hospital visit in ten hours and I was so embarrassed to be back there because I was sure it was another false alarm. They hooked me up to the machines again and sure enough there were my contractions faithful as ever but much more painful. The nurse checked me and simply said. "Okay, you're dilated to about a 5. You're going to have a baby today." I almost cried with happiness when she said that. I couldn't believe they were actually going to keep me there.

After the happiness subsided it hit me that Holy Crap, I have to have a baby now. I asked the nurse if there was anything that I could take for the pain, and she asked me, "Oh sure, do you want an epidural?" What?! An epidural? she acted like she was asking me if I wanted some Tylenol. Am I really far enough along in my labor to have that? She assured me that now was a good time to have it, and to be honest I was so uncomfortable I decided an epidural might not be so bad.

It took about 45 minutes to get the epidural and let me tell you ladies... it was AMAZING. They numbed my back first so a couple of needle pokes was nothing compared to the contractions I was having. Once it kicked in I was more comfortable then I had been in WEEKS. I totally relaxed and kicked back while my body got ready to have a baby. I went from being dilated to a 5 to a 10 in about five hours which was pretty quick, and thanks to my epidural a walk in the park. Once I hit a 10 the nurse called the doctor to come and deliver and started having me push every time I had a contraction. Pretty soon the doctor and two nurses came quickly into the room and turned on two huge spot lights and aimed them right at my lady parts. Apparently my lady parts had to be illuminated.

I started pushing the baby out and unfortunately the epidural doesn't numb that pain. I'm lucky I had Shaun in there encouraging me to push and just being the nicest person in world. He made sure I never ran out of ice water, he dabbed my face and neck with a cool wash cloth, and he just kept telling me how amazing I was doing. He really was the best labor coach ever. Even the nurses were impressed. They said that they would like to hire him for all of the other deliveries.

I pushed for about 30 minutes, and at one point near the end I wasn't sure if I could do it anymore. I held back my tears but kept telling Shaun that I couldn't do it. He helped me get through my moment of weakness like only he could. Finally I pushed and her head came out. One more quick push and the rest of her came out like it was nothing. Some thing that still confuses me.

I just saw a flash of her before they took her to clean her up, but I hear her first cry and had the most amazing feeling ever. It seemed like an eternity, but finally they brought her over and I got to hold her for the first time. In that one instant I forgot all of the pain, all nine months of pregnancy discomfort... everything was gone. All I could do was marvel at the miracle in my arms. Everything changed in that instant. All of things I had stressed about before now, like work and school, meant absolutely nothing. The only things that mattered were there in the room with me, Shaun and Kayleigh, my family. Indescribable.

8lbs 4oz and 19 inches long. My little sweetheart has officially stolen my heart. I just want to spend every minute holding her. She has completely flipped my world upside down, and it's the best feeling in the world. I was so scared to become a mom. I didn't think that I could do it, but I am amazed at how easy it is. It is so easy to love her and want to take care of her. I never get tired of having her around and I have the best support system at home with Shaun and from both of our families. May 5th 2009 has definitely been the craziest day in my life so far. Honestly, I wouldn't change it for the world.

37 weeks and counting...

My name is Amanda Duke and I have cankles. They are gross. I feel like my body is telling me that it's ready to poop out a baby, but I don't think that's going to happen any time soon. Things are progressing down there but not very fast. I don't know if I should hope to last past the 8th or hope to go early and just get it overwith. Things would be complicated with school if I had the baby early, but man... I'm just ready to do this. Shaun is ready too, and i'm pretty sure we have just about everything that we need for the baby. I guess I'll just have to accept that it's not up to me to decide when the baby comes. I've just got to sit back and let things happen. My next appointment is Friday the 24th, so I guess I won't know anything until then. I just hope that my comfort level will get a little better than it has been today, but I won't hold my breath.

Oh my belly

Shaun is obsessed with my belly and he keeps bugging me to post belly pictures. I, on the other hand, am not so crazy about letting everyone see my expanding midsection. So, this is for everyone who has not seen me with +20 some odd extra pounds protruding from my abdominopelvic cavity.
I know what you're thinking, but no, I am not holding my butt fat up. I simply wanted to show that I do still have a little curve to my back. My love handles are big, but still under control... for the most part.

This little angle is my baby at 32 weeks. The picture says "sucking" because she is sucking on her fingers. It's such a cute baby thing to do and if you look at the back of her head the doctor said that you can see she already has a full head of hair! I'm totally embarassed to admit this but oh well. When I saw her sucking on her fingers during the ultra sound I had one stinking little tear escape from my eye and run down my cheek. I couldn't help it. I just saw her there acting like a real baby and bam! it hit me that I have a real person in my belly who's going to grow up and do, I don't know, real people things. It was crazy. I don't think I will ever feel completely ready to be a mom, but that moment made me realize just how excited I am to meet her and hold her for the first time. I know that in just over a month my life will change forever, and as scary as that is, I know it will be a great change. I've always thought that when I had kids my "life" would be over. I would never get to do the things that I have always dreamed about doing in life. I thought that I would have to give up my dreams and just be a dumpy house mom who never takes care of herself or gets to do anything for herself. I have recently realized, though, that this is not the end of my "life", but a new chapter that I can't wait to start. I guess seeing Monica with her kids has helped me a lot as well. I can't imagine anything else that I would rather do than kick it with her and her kids. Maybe someday we will be neighbors and we can kick it while our kids entertain each other. Hopefully by then Kara will have some kids too, and then it will be a real party :)! So here's to the future, scary and unknown, but never boring. Who knows what life will bring next, but as Kirsten Dunst says, "Bring it on!"

Please don't poke me there anymore...

Well the last few weeks have been entertaining and crazy as usual. I thought that once we got everything out of the apartment that things would settle down a little bit, but boy was I wrong. Things with the house are going good. We've recently found out that we will be getting some much needed funding to finish the basement! Woo hoo. We're hoping to have at least one room completely done before the baby is born so that we will have an extra room for company to stay in. So that's a fun project for Shaun and his dad to work on and it's been keeping us pretty busy.
With that in mind I just want to share a fun pregnancy story with everyone. I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago for one of my normal check-ups and had to have the Gestational Diabetes test done. I wasn't really looking forward to this visit because I heard that the sugary drink they make you chug is pretty bad, but I grew a pair and went through the appointment like I was supposed to. I choked down the gross drink in five minutes (that's the time crunch they give you) waited around the lab for one hour, BORING, and let them stab me with a needle so that they could take a sample of blood. This was not the way I wanted to spend my day off and this also was the FIRST appointment that Shaun was not able to go to (he's such a good husband he's made it to all of my other appointments), and it was one of the appointments that I wished he could have been there for. We both hate giving blood and need to be consoled and babied when we do have give blood. Well the appointment was finally over and I was grateful to be able to go home and let Shaun console me over my terrible wound. I was sooooo glad to have this appointment done and over with. Well, fast forward to the next morning. Right before I went to my first class of the day, anatomy, I got a call from my doctor saying that my blood glucose levels measured too high and that they would have to do another test. They also informed me that my glucogen levels were off and that I had pregnancy anemia ( big surprise, my Iron levels have always been to low to give blood) and that I had to go on a High Iron Diet. Well lets just say my mood was crushed for the day. I felt awful! I was so worried that I had Gestational Diabetes, that i was starving my baby of iron, and they informed me that I was measuring small and had to have another ultra sound done to make sure everything was okay. "You haven't even given birth and you're already a terrible mother." is what it honestly felt like they were telling me. Crap! I dragged my feet into Anatomy, completely bummed and feeling crappy as ever when it was called to my attention that our next test was only a couple days away. (Something I was not at all prepared for). Where did the freakin time go? I have been so wrapped up in moving and everything else I had lost track of what day/week it was.
I grudging went to another appointment a few days later to have the second test done. This test, though, made the first one seem like a cake walk. I had to drag my butt out of bed and into the doctor's office at 7:30am on a Friday. I had to fast for eight hours before taking the test which meant an early dinner the night before and no breakfast before my appointment. For those of you who have not experienced me during my pregnancy, I HAVE TO EAT BREAKFAST. I get disgustingly sick if I don't. So...I stumble into the office grumpy, hungry and scared out of my wits just hoping to get this thing over with. The first thing they did was stab me with a needle and take my blood. This didn't help my upset stomach at all. Immediately following, they gave me a twelve ounce bottle of the sugary drink (which has more sugar than the last one I had to take) and told me I had five minutes to drink it. It was 7:30 in the morning, and if you know me and my bad stomach, cherry cough medicine tasting sugar solution is not the thing to chug that early in the morning on an empty stomach. Somehow I managed to get it down without throwing it back up. I then was escorted to the lobby to wait an hour before they could test my blood again. Tick tock, tick tock, man it was good thing I brought Anatomy to study. Finally they called my name and like a crazy person I followed them back into the lab where they stabbed me a second time and took more blood. Then it was back to the lobby to wait another hour. tick tock, tick tock... the Second hour passed and again like a fool I let them stab me a third time to take my blood. Back to the lobby, tick tock, tick tock, another hour passed by. They took me back to their dungeon, I mean lab, and stabbed me for a fourth time and took more blood. Keep in mind that I still hadn't eaten anything that day and in pregnancy world, that is TORTURE! Well, they informed me that they had gotten 3 of the 4 results back already and that my glucose levels were better than perfect. I was fine and was free to leave. If anything funny showed up in the fourth test they would call me and let me know. So I stumbled out of the doctors office and 11:30am, (It took FOUR HOURS!!!) with both arms bruised and bandaged, starving, and feeling very nauseated. Do you know what it's like to have a needle stuck in each arm twice in a four hour period. I was miserable, and I was an hour late for my three hour class because the appointment took so much longer than it was supposed to. So I had to run straight to class (no time to stop for food) and sit through two hours of Stress Management, of all things, before I could stop and eat the most delicious Subway Sandwich I had ever eaten in my entire life.

The moral of the story is... Pregnancy can Suck! But... I hear that it's worth it in the End.

New House!!!

As most of you know Shaun and I have recently moved into our new house. We're still getting everything unpacked and put away but I thought that I would post some pictures of what we've done so far.

This is an older picture of our house, I would take a new one but there is too much snow to really see anything.

Here's me and my big belly getting ready to paint the baby's room.

(I look really bad, but hey, I'm painting)

Here's what we've done with the baby's room so far.

I'm still working on painting this border around the wall. It's cute, but a pain in the butt!

This is our bathroom, and Shaun has already managed to clog the toilet.

(oh man, it was bad)
This is the entrance way... still in the works.

Living room

Dining Room

Kitchen

This is our bedroom which is still in progress. I think it will be cool when it's not in shambles.

7 Things I Love About Minnesota

For those of you that have not experienced Minnesota (which is pretty much anyone looking at my blog), here are 7 things that I LOVE about MN...

1. Tons of snow that never melts and -25 degree temperature.

2. Not being able to see out of my patio because the snow is so high.
Please Note: I am on the third floor, not ground level.

3. People on ground level have to shovel to get out of thier doors.

4. My school parking lot has a protective wall of snow that's twice the height of most cars.

5. The protective wall of snow spans the entire parking lot.

6. The preferred method of travel to local bars and McDonalds in the winter is by Snowmobile. (Click on picture to see enlarged version.)

7. Minnesotans give drive-thru a whole new meaning!